Saturday, July 07, 2012

Dad, How Are You?


For the first time in 14 years, I didn't manage to put up a post on July 5 as I normally do every year since you first left us 14 years ago. I kept myself busy during this period.  I only know that each time July approaches, I begin to get melancholy as usual.  It's almost as if I didn't want July to come as each time it does, I always get hit with an ebb and flow of emotions.  I can't imagine that I can still sit here in front of the computer, 14 years later and still get all teary eye thinking of you, Dad.  I may be laughing around my friends, but when I get home, I think about you.

I know you are out there looking down on me; shocked at some of the things your "once" a little girl is doing now or have done (LOL!), smile approvingly when I do good, frown when I'm bad, hahaha... and happy with what I have done so far with my life.  Dad, how are you? I often think about you.  You know that I found your cassette tape a while back, the one of you singing "Love Me Tender".  I manage to get it recorded into my mobile and when I really miss you, I listen to you sing.  It's almost like you were still here, I feel the warmth surrounding me and my eyes starts welling up each and every time without fail.  I'm such a big softy ... life is such, which is why I cherish and am thankful for each and every day the good Lord has given to me.  I can still remember watching you singing/recording the song into the JVC cassette recorder like it was just yesterday ... but now, now you are gone.  I hope you are still singing up there in heaven and sometimes I close my eyes  and try to listen out for you, silly me.  A case of watching "August Rush" too many times and believing that there's music all around us, that includes your singing.

I hope you haven't been playing pranks on the other folks up there and been behaving yourself :o), you were such a joker during the time you were on earth and use to either crack me up or scare the living daylights out of me.  Hahaha..., you have brought us so much laughter while you were here...till you were unwell.  You gave up on life and I watch you slowly fade away in time.  Letting you go was so painful, but it was also what was best for you.  Yes, Dad, I guess you are indeed singing (and whistling away, yup, I still sing and whistle now and then - thanks for the lessons) up there and entertaining your friends.  I'll see you one day soon and I'll be sure that we will have our duet numbers just like old times when we are together once again.  The way we were, the way the family were ... back when we were young.

Love You So Much Dad ...on this 14th year.  Miss You Much ....
Far more abundantly beyond all,
BB









2 comments:

Small Kucing said...

lovely photos. Well kept

Ophelia said...

Sorry I don't your name, so I shall call you fellow Blogger. Wow, even though I do not know you or yr dad, your post brought tears to my eyes as I could almost feel how much you love your Dad & how much you miss him. Even after a period of 14 years, your pain in losing him is so apparent; one would think that with the passage of time, the pain would be less intense & somehow I gather from reading this post, that it is Most intense come July each year. Dear Fellow Blogger I am a mum so I would know that your dad would not want you to be sad & just remember your dad is always in your heart, guiding & guarding you. His Love for you & the rest of your family is eternal & may His soul rest in the peace of the Lord. God bless.