Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Ah Beng & Malaysian Men

A short but funny break from food posts. This "Engrish" humour came from an email that was forwarded to me. I am not a perfectionist, I understand not everyone speaks the language fluently. I get laughed at trying to speak Hokkien when most things I say end up being on the lewd side without me intending it to be! We all must learn to laugh at ourselves, Ha ha ha...This is for entertainment purposes (especially for the Malaysians!).

Dear Ah Lian

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me,
I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look?
Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he
take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he
take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu! sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari.
My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you
must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me.
Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when
you got time, please few
free to call me. Goo bye.....

Worm regard,
Ah Beng


Lyn and I got talking and we thought of some things that we can't stand about Malaysian men; not sure whether it's the same for men elsewhere. Sorry, guys....feel free to have your say in my comment box if you want to counter attack. We were just trying to list out five of them. You women may add yours in the list if you want to. To be fair, we acknowledge not all Malaysian men are like this but sadly, most are! Ha ha ha...

1) Men who make those awful and draggy sound from the throat just before they spit out their phlegm onto the ground in a public area!

2) Men who keep their little pinkie fingernail long which is use for many purposes (to clear food stuck in their teeth, to dig their ears, see also No. 4)

3) Men who scratch their balls in public

4) Men who dig their nose in public; showing us they enjoy it (for goodness sake, it's like they are stirring dodol or something!) and proceed to make little balls out of their booger. Eewwww.....

We got stuck at 4 and another friend came out with the fifth one.

5) Men wearing sandals/slippers, who would seat and cross their leg or put a leg up on the chair. That's not the crime, but what is, is that they would proceed to start rubbing their toes and in between...and yes, then make little balls out of the dirt.

What's with men and balls? That's three out of five. LOL!

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. ~ Jerry Seinfeld


FireHorse said...

LOL this is too farnie. What about men who take pleasure in farting?

c said...


i like the linguistic take. but i definitely cannot see myself spending my entire life with someone whose vocabulary is made up of a series of grunts. i need intellectual stimulation =) (and music too).

how about men talk really loudly when other males are around? malaysian men tend to do that a lot.

re: the long pinky nails (i think it's a malaysian thing! thank god!)

farting and nose digging is universal, sadly.

see the southpark "hybrid + smugness" episode =)

wmw said...

firehorse:Ya lah, farting! Ha ha.....like C said, that and nose digging is universal.

c : Yah, the linguistic part is funny..."annie wear sari"! hee hee
Mmm....long pinky nails is Malaysian, eh?

Rasa Malaysia said...

Veli farnee. I think it's not just about Malaysian men, some ang moh here also have some of these buruk perangai, but not so geli and wat tat lah. China Ah Pek in Negeri China lagi teruk, I telyu.

team BSG said...

when itchy becoz sexy gals come and go wat do ya xpet? have to sekletch wat.

but selling bread for 20 yrs in sari is abit too long lah !

shud have just wear shots then oso easy to scratch.

wmw said...

RM:Yah la, have not seen Ang Moh rub their toes and roll balls woh...Ha ha ha...Sigh!

team bsg : If I ever see you in shorts, I would laugh!

kat said...

Hahaha... yeah, men and their balls! Big and small ones!! My husband enjoys making small black balls from scratching his chest after a long sweaty day!! And he has to show it to me!!! Eewwwww!!!

Precious Pea said...

Haha..the lattar definately worm my art!

wmw said...

Kat : Uhhh...your husband didn't do this to you BEFORE you married him right? Ha ha ha.....For better, for worse lor I guess.

Precious Pea : Tank jew four visiting! Sea jew a round...

FireHorse said...

I used to work in a health center before and up till then I did not know that men powder their balls wan. he he

wmw said...

firehorse : Ha ha ha...this reminds me of the story about this funny incident during a radio programme that went on air! When asked what does her husband put on his eggs every morning, the wife replied, "Talcum powder"! ROFL.....

ilene said...

Like your ah beng's letter! The other article on MEN, you've said it all!

Dr ve Thru said...

WAHAHAHAHAH *roll on floor laughing*

The men you and your friend described are typicall Ah Beng lah...I know because my cousin gave me a set of dvds of Phua Chu Kang. Loads of money but no finesse.

Wah, I couldn't come to your blog for so many days and now so many things to catch up on.

lyn said...

Dear WMW,
U suuer kena lotta komen sin u tok bout ah lian and ah beng wan.So many peeper ohso like wat! Make me or lolling on floor to laughink lor. But tokking bout balls ah, ya lor don no wat is about all dis tah por, ha, nutting better to do ar? Ohso cannot tahan dose orways playing or combink hair and looking in miller or der time so vein wan! U unnerstanwattamean?

wmw said...

ilene:Hey, good to see you around again! But I'm sure I haven't said it all, there's lots more! Hee hee...

dr ve thru : Why couldn't come to my blog? PC problems? Yalor, Malaysian men mostly but some are universal traits! LOL

lyn : Wah! How long did it take for jew to right sach a conman? I do unnerstanwattjewmean lor ;o)

shlen said...

Ohmigosh. You two need to take an engrish crass with I. So bad wan your engrish..mine more powderfull, sure after my crass can go to uk and tok with ang mors with creat confidan. Sure wan! Gallantee! Oni RM1000 for one hours. Crall me ar! I numbers is zelo-one-twroo-twroo-tlee-fore-fvlive-scrix. plenty orf hags and kissie fro ywru!

wmw said...

Shlen : Hmph! Come to my brog ant doo evertskmen! Yah wor, your engrish more powderfull. If can get jew more stewdents, got thiscount?

Shlen said...

Harlew..yalor, if ar, ylew glive mle mlore stludents then me mlust glive diclount lor. I glain but lose lor...undelstanshing not?

wmw said...

shlen : Solly four leg lipry. Yes, I undelstansh.