Weekend Video Engrish Humour

Another weekend has arrived and ... is going! I was talking to Mrs Pitt early morning around 3 a.m here yesterday (almost midnight over there on a Friday night) and told her to check out this video. It's guaranteed to chase the blues away and get us laughing! Check out this Korean guy singing Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" and you'll know what I mean!

Have A Great Laugh This Weekend, Everyone!

Belated Mooncake Post

Just a quick post today. Ethan forwarded an email to me about some mooncakes being sold in Hong Kong. I laughed when I saw it! I guess sooner or later, someone would come out with such mooncakes.....And now, presenting the mooncakes.....

CLICK ON ALL THREE IMAGES FOR A LARGER AND CLEARER VIEW

By the way, I did check if there was such a website. Turns out there is, G.O.D means Goods Of Desire but I couldn't find the link for the mooncakes! Maybe I missed it, here's the link if you would like to see if you can :o).

My Weekend Comicstrip - 4

Have a great weekend everyone!

One More Day to Halloween Day!

I came across this funny video of this Buffalax who edited a clip of an Indian version of Thriller and did the subtitles of what he/she thinks he/she is hearing in English. I thought this is a suitable and humorous post to put up in time for Halloween, my favourite day of each year ;o)

I first got to know about Buffalax's videos when Precious Pea directed me to a zany video link (the second video below this paragraph) in YouTube. However, this one is rather vulgar but it's so extremely funny, I had tears running down my cheeks and almost fell of my chair. So, be warned...if you are offended by such obscenities, DO NOT click on play. But for those who can take it, go on, CLICK on the play button, you won't regret it. Just don't blame me if you end up rolling on the floor with tears streaming down your face while your boss is hovering over you with his arms akimbo and with his "I'm NOT impressed!" look on his face. LOL! The choreography in both videos are filled with killer moves!

I bet that you, Mrs Pitt, will probably be running towards the toilet to pee while/after seeing this video!!! Sigh...thinking of the time I spent my Halloween in San Francisco! I did write about that back in October 2006 and I have decided to repost the entire "Happy Halloween" here today (so that I can go to bed earlier. Hehehe...). Happy reading!

I had the opportunity to celebrate Halloween in the States a couple of years back and had the most fun ever. Mrs Pitt and friends brought me to the "famous" Castro Street in San Francisco where they had the Halloween Street Party. There were signs plastered everywhere that no weapons were allowed and there were policemen at every corner. I must admit I was rather thrilled, a bit scared initially but amazed with the crowd and my surroundings. After soaking up the fun, I was more relaxed. Surely, you can understand why I felt a bit nervous in the beginning, right?

Not sure where I was, but I felt burning hot! Ha ha ha...."Girls" Just Wanna Have Fun!

Guardian Angels or Devils In Disguise?

There were cute and funny costumes too. There was this particular group of "medic" wheeling this "lady" laying on a hospital bed who was screaming and seem to be in pain. When I got closer to them, this was what I saw.

The "lady" had given birth! It's a girl! LOL.....
Animal Farm?
The REAL cowboys from Brokeback Mountain

Well, there are some pictures that I can't post as I don't want my post/blog to be flagged by some conservative folks. Let's just say, there were also some guys that wore a costume that was a replica of a certain part of a male anatomy. They were literally a giant walking ....! Talk about being a ....head, LOL! Oh well, for my last pic, I was really partly amused and scared at the same time. This guy must have been about 7 feet tall! I know I'm short but I'm not THAT short! I was really wondering whether he was going to let go of my neck after the picture was taken. Ha ha ha...But since I'm blogging right now, I did live to see another day.
The crowd made up of people from "all" walks of life were well behaved and it was fun outing. Well, to me it was, I didn't see or hear anything unpleasant but it seems to have some ugly incidents every year. Apparently, some people in SFO are trying to put a stop to the annual Halloween Street Party this year for all sort of weird reasons apart from security related ones.

Let's hope Halloween celebration catches on over here on a grander scale. But knowing the crime rate in Malaysia, we might have more crime that night as criminals would take the opportunity to strike since it's would be okay to walk around in a Halloween costume and not be able to be identified! Oh well, que sera sera, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. ~ Author Unknown

My Weekend Comicstrip - 3

Here's to another great weekend!

My Weekend Comicstrip - 2

I was online chatting with Kok and Judy when Kok alerted me to his new post. I had a good laugh at Kok's last photo in his post about him learning CPR and at that moment, I made the following comicstrip. Judy had a good laugh too...so I have included both her and Kok in the comicstrip.

Kok, this is for you....

Have a great weekend everyone!

My Weekend Comicstrip

*FYI, WMW's born in the year of Monkey

E told me about the website and I ended up creating this. If you folks don't see the humour in this, I apologise. I did it to humour myself :o).

Weekend Humour Interlude

Got this from Mrs Pitt and decided to post some weekend humour. I had a great laugh and hope you folks will find this funny too. Any other things you want to add to the list? Have a great Sunday and a not so blue Monday!

MALE OR FEMALE?
You may not know this but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples....

	FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
	PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
	TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
	HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
	SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
	WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
	TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
	EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
	HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
	THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~ Henry Kissinger

Ah Beng & Malaysian Men

A short but funny break from food posts. This "Engrish" humour came from an email that was forwarded to me. I am not a perfectionist, I understand not everyone speaks the language fluently. I get laughed at trying to speak Hokkien when most things I say end up being on the lewd side without me intending it to be! We all must learn to laugh at ourselves, Ha ha ha...This is for entertainment purposes (especially for the Malaysians!).

*************
Dear Ah Lian

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me,
I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look?
Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he
take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he
take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu! sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari.
My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you
must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me.
Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when
you got time, please few
free to call me. Goo bye.....

Worm regard,
Ah Beng

************

Lyn and I got talking and we thought of some things that we can't stand about Malaysian men; not sure whether it's the same for men elsewhere. Sorry, guys....feel free to have your say in my comment box if you want to counter attack. We were just trying to list out five of them. You women may add yours in the list if you want to. To be fair, we acknowledge not all Malaysian men are like this but sadly, most are! Ha ha ha...

1) Men who make those awful and draggy sound from the throat just before they spit out their phlegm onto the ground in a public area!

2) Men who keep their little pinkie fingernail long which is use for many purposes (to clear food stuck in their teeth, to dig their ears, see also No. 4)

3) Men who scratch their balls in public

4) Men who dig their nose in public; showing us they enjoy it (for goodness sake, it's like they are stirring dodol or something!) and proceed to make little balls out of their booger. Eewwww.....

We got stuck at 4 and another friend came out with the fifth one.

5) Men wearing sandals/slippers, who would seat and cross their leg or put a leg up on the chair. That's not the crime, but what is, is that they would proceed to start rubbing their toes and in between...and yes, then make little balls out of the dirt.

What's with men and balls? That's three out of five. LOL!

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

It's Insane!

Mrs Pitt sent me this link, it's so unbelievably insane I just have to blog about it! Remember to pause the video on my side bar when you play this (or else you will have two audio and visual source running simultaneously). To ensure smooth video playback, click on the big Play button and then click on the Pause button on the bottom left. Wait till the video finish loading (you will see a red bar moving from the left till the right), then click on Play again.

Enjoy the video....."Learning English The Japanese Way".

Books That Pretty Much Sums It Up

While browsing in a book store, I came across some pretty interesting titles. Took some pictures using my handphone (sorry, the pics aren't that clear) so that Mrs Pitt will believe me when I tell her that such books really do exist. These books pretty much sums up how to handle life!

It's okay to get old and fat (unless you're a Japanese woman!)

But if one really can't accept it (especially those who feel like a buffalo while being pregnant), you can read these if you don't feel depress enough! Ha ha ha...

However, when you are faced with problems, know that you are not alone and most things are impossible to attain!

But at the end of the day, all can be resolved by the simplest solution! EAT! FOOD is the answer. LOL!

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. ~ Robert Frost

Japan - Lighter Side

Jo has been in Japan since Sept 30 and she has been taking some pics and sending them to me. With her permission,I'll post them here from time to time. Meanwhile, here's two of them, courtesy of Jo.

Seems that when she tried to access my blog, it automatically turns Japanese....well, in this case, partially. As in Mrs. Pitt's comment here...it has some Japanese words "san no koomento" in place of the word "said" but the rest are left intact.
The other one is funny, it's from Jo's washroom. I like the part that says "Please do not flash anything other than toilet paper." Ha ha....Mmmm....But it's only natural to flash oneself whenever you are in there, isn't it? LOL......

Without geography, you're nowhere. ~Author Unknown

Engrish - Are You The Wanted?

When I saw this I was trying to make out exactly what the sign was trying to say. I think it was meant to be specific in a certain way or even trying to be funny??? After reading it, I had no idea who I was for awhile as my brain went dead for a couple of seconds! LOL....

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. ~ Willaim Castle

Engrish "Refreshing" Patch

While cleaning up my place in preparation for Mrs Pitt and Zahara, I found something that I had bought about 3 years back . I bought this particular "Essential Oil Refreshing Patch" not because I wanted to use it but more for it comical value. Anyway, finding it again a few days ago, it still gave me some comic relief due to it's atrocious Engrish, of course.

It's pass its expiry date and I can now throw it away, having blogged and posted pictures of it. It's suppose to clear my head after using it (and more, as stated on the back of it). However, after reading through it, I think it will give some of us a headache rather than making us feel better!

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. ~ Author Unknown

Smile

Mrs Pitt and Zahara are visiting, so have been out quite often. Hope to be able to blog at least every other day. Meanwhile just a short one today. I have told my friends about this each time I'm at this supermarket. This particular sign never fails to make me smile no matter how many times I see it since I frequent this supermarket frequently. Since I have a blog now, I can post this up and be reminded of it more often.
I had seen quite a number of men lurking around this aisle. LOL... Had thought about it and decided not to notify the management since I first noticed it a few years back. If they change the sign, I won't be able to smile at it again and that would be sad. Some things ARE better left the way it is! Meanwhile the other Tit-Bits that I came across is a website for women with breast cancer. Now this one is no laughing matter.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
~ Andy Rooney

Japanese

A friend sent this to me and on trailing it, I found "The Japanese Are Crazy" (TJAC) website. I've posted a video of this prank they played on people. At a ski resort, they set up this massage center complete with a coin operated massage chair. Check out what happened (especially the 2nd part of the prank! Got me laughing my head off!). Tip: After you click on the big play button, the video will start to load. Click the pause button, let the video load till the end (you will see the bar moving as it loads). Then click play, you will then be able to watch the video without flow interruptions.

Thank goodness I never fell victim to such pranks when I was in Japan. Now that I know what can happen there, I will brace myself for such things and that may mean taking showers fully clothed! LOL ...Anyway, check out the load of videos from TJAC website. Lots of interesting stuff. Saw one from the "Do Not Laugh" series. In this show, contestants are subjected to hilarious situations and must refrain from laughing. If they do, their behind gets belted (really hard). Looks painful to me! Crazy alright! There's also this amazing Japanese (though he's mixed) magician, Cyril Takayama. He does these really great feats of illusion and street magic, some sort of David Blaine. He seems better, maybe because he's mixed with Asian blood hence more exotic! There's also this purportedly straight guy, "Razor Ramon" who's now a famed celebrity for playing a gay guy who is really extremely gay in your face type. You will cringe with fear and yet laugh at his antics at the same time. Ha ha ha....I have not gone through the whole archive myself. Please take note, I'm not responsible for anything that will be hazardous to your health or things that one might find offensive. Please view at your own discretion.

If we don't go crazy once in a while, we'll all go crazy. ~ (M.*A*S*H) Hawkeye, "Bulletin Board," original airdate 14 January 1975, written by Larry Gelbart, directed by Alan Alda

Globalisation - Hawker Food

Went for my 2nd checkup yesterday. My right eye is doing okay though there is a slight inflammation as I had run out of eyedrops 3 days ago. Anyway, felt more relieved that the operation was successful (if not, would have to operate again!). Was sent home with some new type of eyedrops and told to come back for another checkup in 3 weeks' time. Since I'm still unable to drive at night, TD offered to give me a ride to our weekly evening meeting. I had a quick dinner with him at Sec 17, Say Huat Coffeeshop. Went there for our favourite Robert's Fried Kway Teow. While eating and chatting, we realised that there were two other stalls there that were similar in the sense that they had an English name. TD jokingly said that this was the globalisation of the hawker food industry!
I have not really thought about the fact that some stalls did have English names. But then, there were three of them in a single place, something I've not come across before. Armed with only my camera phone, I took pics of them. So, how local is our local hawker food if they start "globalising" themselves like this? Even the hawkers are influenced by the Western culture. Haha...Whatever happened to good old Ah Beng's Prawn Mee or Ah Lian's Fish Ball Noodles (hee hee...Ah Lian Yue Tan Tong, the Chinese educated would know why I'm laughing). However, I know there aren't much changes as Robert's Fried Kway Teow tasted good and yes, very local still! ;o)

Come to think of it, I've come across some local food places (though not necessarily coffeeshops stalls but small scale restaurants or previously small but gone big scale) that have their own websites too. With all the IT on the web, this isn't surprising but I think we might not be aware of it. There is this small town restaurant in Kemaman, Restoran Tong Juan where I enjoyed their specialty, stuffed crab. Their website address is...what else, but of course www.stuffedcrab.com. They even have a company profile - here's part of it - "We formed since 1971 and specified in making stuffed crab and other chinese cuisine. Under the guidance of our fonder, Mr Chew Nam Ting, Restaurant Tong Juan has become an one top chinese restaurant in Kemaman town." Eh, specified or not and with due respect to the fonder, please take my word that the food is a whole lot better than their grammar. Here are few more to check out - Nasi Ayam Hainan Chee Meng (Chee Meng Hainanese Chicken Rice), Nasi Lemak House, Ah Koong Fish Ball Noodle, and Nasi Kandar Pelita. I'm sure there's more out there, anyone of you care to add to the list of such websites?

The message for business people contemplating their place in cyberspace is simple and direct: get linked or get lost.
~Vic Sussman and Kenan Pollack

Censorship?

Today's post is rated NC16! I came across these when I was walking around. Actually, with all that censorship on TV and the movies, we actually have a lot of stuff around us that the authorities would find racy! Ha ha ha...I find them amusing.

A pub in Bangsar - where all the men gather at "this spot" cos they have no idea where the "other spot" is! LOL ...

Another leaflet targeted at men. Here's the answer to their prayers. Well, the Thais are known to be good at massages!

Mmm....apart from spam in the email, I've yet to come across signages or leaflets in Malaysia for the female gender. But for women to get the men's attention? That's just so easy. Hence, no leaflets! Ha ha ha....Well, if the guy has problems....that's another case. No, I don't think having a restaurant named "Spotted Dick" would bring in the female crowd, though it's a pretty nice dessert (what were you thinking of?). If there is such a restaurant, then please let me know so that I can take a photo of their signage! I must admit, it is quite a novelty to open such a restaurant with that name, any takers? And if you ever do come across a new restaurant of that name in future, remember, you read it hear first. ;0) Enough of puns, just don't throw me overboard!

Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water. ~ Dave Barry, Why Humor Is Funny

Broadway Beng!

I got invited again by Kimmy (of Gardner and Wife Theater) to lim teh (drink tea) on Tuesday at Montes. This time round it was for the media do for Broadway Beng. I only came across the email late Monday night and since my command of Hokkien wasn't that good, I got Lyn to go with me. Lyn, thanks for driving and accompanying me though I kinda asked you at the eleventh hour. When I reached the venue, I saw some elderly ladies around. Lyn and I joked that it was okay if I didn't understand, if the elderly folks laughed, that would be my cue to laugh too. I didn't want to be stonefaced while people around me are laughing there heads off!

I had braced myself for a clueless time and hoped that Lyn will be able to translate for me. After an intro by director, Selena Tan (yes, the lady behind "Wanton Me"), Ah Beng (who is actually Sebastian Tan) came on and launched into the famous showtune "There's No Business Like Show Business". He then rattled off some Hokkien (or Fu*kien as he says). Luckily, he translated it to English and I was not clueless anymore! Yay! He did the translation even for a Hokkien song he sang. I remembered two lines of it..."30% up to God, 70% you must work a lot. You must work hard if you want to winnnnnnn....". LOL! Well, you have to be there to hear him sing the translated English Fu*kien song. It was funny. So, even if one doesn't really understand Fu*kien, you will still be laughing at Broadway Ah Beng. Like Ah Beng says "Who Say Broadway Music Is Only For Ang Mohs?"

He will be joined by 3 cha bohs (girls) on stage

Broadway Ah Beng is a madcap stand-up comedy musical in true blue Ah Beng "Fu*kien-Engrish"! According to the press release, it's karaoke without the sleaze...Wait! Or...maybe with! Ha ha ha...After the short showcase, and before making his exit, Ah Beng told us "Bring your mudder, fudder, brudder, Ah Gong, Ah Mah to my show!". That we intend to do, as a matter of fact, Lyn and I got ourselves 6 tickets.

Sebastian Tan, comes with credible credentials, having performed in Miss Saigon (UK tour run) and after I heard him sing, it's verified. He'll be belting out showtunes along the way. He has been on TV and musical variety shows too. As a matter of fact, Selena mentioned that we will be getting a good deal as there will be a 8 minute medley of songs from Miss Saigon, basically summarizing the whole story! How's that for getting your money's worth? Ha ha... He looks different in this head shot pose of his. See what some blond highlights and donning a blinding blue suit can do to a person? LOL...

Oh, and that's Gardner in the background (in white). Did you catch Gardner in the Astro football ad as a football commentator?

By the way, the photos without my blog address are courtesy of Gardner&Wife Theater, from the press kit. Well, Ah Beng, this not quite so Ah Lian and friends will be seeing you soon! But I'm not sure about my mudder and brudder. Sorry, my fudder, Ah Gong and Ah Mah definitely won't be able to make it, they are busy "living it up there". ;o)

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. ~ Arnold Glasow

Wanton Me is Wanton Fun!

Back from watching Wanton Me! The show is wicked! It's really funny and I highly recommend that it's a must see. But leave your "halo" at the door, as this show covers a lot of "topics". From the moment I stepped into the studio, I saw a chandelier made from strings and strings of red bras, I knew I was in for a fun and wild time! Selena Tan and Hossan Leong gave us an insight of Singaporeans too along with jokes on politics, sex, food, human behaviour and more with some Hokkien words now and then. Before we knew it, the show came to an end. I looked at my watch, 1 1/2 hours has just gone by like that. Time really do fly when one is having fun!

After the show, we (JC1, CC and KA) went for coffee in Coffee Bean and continued chatting. Unfortunately, since I was the only Cantonese there, I was the brunt of the joke when I attempted to speak Hokkien! You see, the three of them are Hokkiens and I had all three laughing at me! However, some words were easy to learn as it was the same in Bahasa Malaysia. E.g. jamban (toilet), tuala (towel), sabun (soap), tolong (help), bangku (stool). I think there is more to that list.

Well, one thing for sure, Penangnites find it very hard to learn any other Chinese dialects. Their Hokkien is so deeply embedded in them that it is so difficult for them to pick up another dialect/language. Anyway, go watch Wanton Me! Tons of fun!

My husband's surname is Pok. So cham leh.
Give birth to daughter, cannot name her Rose, she'll be Rose (Roast) Pok.
Son, cannot name Jack, he'll be Jack Pok( Pot)! - Selena, Wanton Me